Upon stepping foot into Lincoln Pork High School visitors are greeted by students running, screaming, and disrespecting staff. In order to remedy this situation, the Pork High School staff developed a new policy called Tasers for Teachers to improve the safety of the school. The Tasers for Teachers policy would reduce the amount of chaos in the hallways, prevent interruptions in class, and most importantly protect staff. This new policy allows teachers to carry tasers.
One of the most ardent supporters of this new policy is social studies teacher Toni Aren’t. She claimed that upon receiving her new, hot pink taser for school that she was “relieved,” adding, “I’m tired of the constant fighting both in and out of my classroom. I’ve tased six students in the past 48 hours already and I feel great!” She ended the interview stating that she has seen big improvements due to this policy.
Another supporter is chemistry teacher Tree Burr who mentioned that his students’ behaviors in class have increasingly improved upon receiving his taser. He stated that “I’ve been using my taser for the students who think it’s okay to take naps during class. So far the attention spans have gone up dramatically.”
On the other hand, English teacher and Karate Master Ms. Turphy disagrees with this policy. She felt so strongly about this subject that she decided to speak in front of staff and students in protest, “This Tasers for Teachers policy only encourages violence. I think we should all just spread positivity and implement more peace into our schools. Perhaps required yoga in every block could help to ease everyone’s minds.” Ms. Turphy was quickly thrown out and fired after her hateful speech.
Overall, the Tasers for Teachers policy has mostly been a success. Although there have been a few staff members and students who may disagree with this policy, the running and screaming in the hallways and inside the classrooms have all been reduced. We at The Bacon hope that this will be a long-term policy at Pork High School to continue bringing peace.